Friday, September 18, 2009

Buongiorno polizia!

There is so much for me to write about...and I will get to it all, but feel that an event that took place this morning requires my immediate attention.

Today is Friday and the students don't have classes and I am not working, technically. Per my contract, I get one day off a week in addition to weekends and trust me when I tell you that I needed a day off desperately. It's been a crazy-busy week and I'm exhausted. (I promise to fill you in later.) Anyways, I planned on sleeping in and being lazy this morning because I have a meeting tomorrow morning and church on Sunday which prevent me from sleeping in. I dragged myself out of bed around 9 to use the bathroom and just as I was about to open my door I heard Ana's, the convent's receptionist, voice over the intercom telling me I had a phone call. Hmmm...who could that be? No one I know has that number. Curious...

I picked up the phone and discovered that it was the polizia. The man I spoke with spoke very little, and I mean little, English. I was able to glean from our "conversation" that he was dropping by for an inspection of the campus. GULP. I knew that at some point this would happen. I had been warned. I just never expected it to happen so quickly! I mean, come on! This is Italy...things like this never happen this fast...wrong! I informed him that I wouldn't be here tomorrow morning and he told me he would stop by this morning. There go my plans to be lazy! Drat!

I quickly got ready...and I will fully admit in an effort to be authentic and transparent, that I took a little extra care with my appearance for 2 reasons. 1) What if one of them were attractive? A girl's gotta look her best....and 2) I wanted to employ my feminine wiles in hopes that that would soften them towards me....shameless, I know....but still. In addition to this, I made sure my office was organized and I was ready to go. On the surface, I was put together...the inside was a different story all together. I felt like there were 747-sized butterflies in my stomach.

When the call came that the officer was here I truly felt my stomach drop. I had no idea what to expect or what I was going to do. Thankfully, one of the nuns was going to be present and she was going to translate from Italian into Spanish for me. (That in and of itself was concerning enough!) Lynda and I headed downstairs to meet the officers and I was immediately struck by two things: 1) these were very serious smiles, no warmth, nothing, and 2) one of them was very, very attractive. Hmmmm.....

I digress! We sat down in the parlor and it was clear that these men meant business. They said a whole lot of stuff that I didn't understand. The sister understood and told me what he was saying, but then she told me to get the nun who spoke English and ask her to come and help. She decided that it was too much to translate from Italian to Spanish and then for me to translate that into English. Truthfully, I was doing fine. I understood her, but my nerves were shot that it was probably a very good idea to get it all in English.

So, once the other sister came into the room three languages starting bouncing around like a ping pong match on speed. It was insane. The men, still so serious, were asking for things that I didn't have and it was a bit...ahhhhhhhhh. At the end, I was instructed to get some paperwork together for them within 1 week. No problem. I can do that. Oh, wait. It has to be in Italian. Ugh. Ok, I'll ask our Italian teacher to help. No problem.

We showed the men out and they left. The sisters proceeded to tell me that the way the men behaved was all part of an act. They were trying to come across more seriously and more "important" than they really were. It was like they were actors in a cop thriller movie. Great. They freaked me out and it was all about looking tough and macho. (Insert eye roll here) As the sisters were reviewing the meeting notes with me, Ana began to laugh. It seemed that the gate conveniently decided to malfunction while the officers were trying to leave. Fantastic. Let's lock them up here with us...well, maybe that wouldn't be so bad considering the one.... :)

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1 comment:

  1. OK - this is the BEST story ever... make that man something American and then translate that for him! ;0)